At Books Inc in Berkeley
1760 4th Street
Berkeley, CA 94710
Other upcoming events here on my events page
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By “Cheese Chick”, Christine Hyatt
I am an artisan cheesemaker:
The cheese department and the produce department get along well at our store. For the last 13 years we’ve shared a backstock cooler, route questions to each other, and have happily coexisted on the south side of the store. The only time this peace is ruptured is when we cut a particularly stinky piece of cheese.
I’m not talking an every day stinky cheese, or a small, washed rind cheese that goes from box to counter in five minutes. No, I’m talking about problems, projects, and Alpine cheeses with super sticky washed rinds.
I’m not going to mention the name of the cheese that caused the problems last Saturday. I don’t need to be corrected with any “I don’t think it smells that bad”s or, worse yet have the cheesemaker or importer give me a hard time. The fact is, once it’s cut down the rind to cheese ratio makes it much less intense so most customers would never notice the way it smells when it first comes out of the cooler and gets unwrapped.
On Saturday however, people noticed. It was one of those days that we were so swamped with customers that our production slowed to a standstill, letting the smell of this little “mini-Gruyere” really get out into the atmosphere. Shoppers were wrinkling their noses. Children were asking their parents, “What’s that smell?” The produce workers were complaining.
One by one they came over to our area and asked, “What is that?” I assured them that it was cheese and that it was ok, but they were cutting me with their eyes every time they passed. One finally said, “Are you almost done with that? I’m feeling my gorge rise!”
Even after it was wrapped and put on the shelf, its smell lingered. Even an hour later my favorite vegan co-worker walked by and she noticed. Head on a swivel, she looked around the store. Then she started moving boxes around and looking under produce displays. I went over to her to let her know everything was ok.
Before I could speak she whispered, “I smell a dead rat.”
“It’s just cheese,” I said.
“No, that’s dead rat. I know.”
I walked her over to the compost and pulled out the paper that had once held our smelly Alpine friend. I held it up to her face.
“UGH! Ack!” Then she looked at me with all her vegan wrath and said, “What is wrong with you people?”
This is much funnier as a commercial than when it happens in real life.
First off, the guy in this coupons dot com commercial looks pretty clean before he washes his hair in the aisle. Before someone is desperate enough to do this they have usually gotten pretty rank even by their own standards. Second, think of the slippery floor, the potential of a lawsuit and the effort it’ll take to clean all the suds off! Third he then would take off to the free sample area (which this company has another commercial about) using his hands to stuff as many as possible down his shirt while trying to elude store security.
This commercial gives me PTSD.
I am back from vacation and confirming Cheesemonger book events today. You can check out the confirmed ones on my events page (working on the additions and the links… Bookstores, don’t get mad if you are not there yet).
Hope to have a real, cheese-based, non-promotional entry soon. But hey, I guess I have kind of a tour scheduled here:
Sonoma, Berkeley, San Francisco, Petaluma, Corte Madera, Mendocino, Portland, Olympia, Bellingham, Seattle… here I come.
Pescadero, Chico, Santa Rosa, I hope to have dates soon.
Midwest, I’ll see you in the Fall.
New York, and the East… you are unscheduled as yet. Blame the Fancy Food Show for turning down my panel proposal. (Heh, maybe if more than 4 people had shown up last time I was on a panel…)
Posted in Uncategorized
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Cheesemonger -- in store sighting, cheesemonger -- the book
I have to get back to the Food Show, but hey, I got an awesome review from Jeanne Carpenter on “Cheese Underground” blog.
Not only does she call me the Barbara Mandrell of the cheese counter, but who could ask for better praise than this:
Not Gordon.
I’m totally gonna start putting peanuts in my Coke.
Hey everybody, I have gotten word that the pre-ordered books are shipping (at least from Chelsea Green). I know some of you have had them pre-ordered since September 2008, so just know they will likely be in your hot, little hands by early next week. Thanks for being so patient.
I set up a facebook for the book to keep people updated on
Cheesemonger: ALOTW events. Events will also be posted on Gordonzola.net
As always you can order direct from Chelsea Green, from Amazon, or pre-order from the bookstore of your choice (like your neighborhood worker-cooperative perhaps)
Sorry for such an all-business post. I’ll return to more sarcasm and mockery soon. After all, the Fancy Food Show is next week… how can I resist?
Not to make anyone jealous, but this was our x-mas cheese plate.
From the top left going clockwise: Bufala Casatica (Buffalo Brie come around the outside! Around the outside!*), Cowgirl Mt Tam, Jasper Hill Bayley Hazen Blue, Coach Farm Triple Cream Goat, Lazy Lady Sweet Emotion**, A Swiss Alpage*** cheese so rare and expensive that I immediately forgot its name, Marieke Gouda with Foenegreek.
And since we’re showing home movies, here are my lasagnas:
(These are filled with Bellwether Jersey Ricotta, by the way. Good ricotta is the secret to good lasagna.)
And here is the Dutch Oven that Santa brought us (so colorful that it makes our oven look really bad. No criticism accepted unless you too live in an apartment where turning on the oven is your main source of heat)
I’d show you the pot roast that Stagey cooked but I took the photos too close and they look more like turds than tasty meat.
Oh wait, here’s what was left of a 7 lb roast (spoon for scale):
What cheese did you serve for the holidays?
*
**This article has the awesomest cheesemaker quote ever. Take heed wanna-be back-to-the-landers: ““No friends, no social life. My only other communication is with other cheese makers. And the farmers’ market.”
***Alpage means it’s from the highest elevation the Alpine cows are grazing at, considered the best, richest, tastiest milk of the year.
Wow. I have to admit that after my experience with the publisher-who-was-supposed-to-publish-my-book-last year-but-never-did, I didn’t really expect my book to come out when Chelsea Green (my current publisher) said it would. And it won’t. No, It’s coming out early!
Very soon, in fact… less than three weeks! In time to be available at Eco-Farm one of the best organic-oriented farming conferences in the country. I don’t know if I can make it down there, but my book will!
I also have a whole slew* of events (bottom right corner of page) coming up. Dudes, I have to admit I’m getting nervous.
Holy crap, that’s me!
*I always want to say “slough” of events. It seems more evocative. Especially if you’ve spent any time at all in, or on, an actual slough.
As always you can order direct from Chelsea Green, from Amazon, or pre-order from the bookstore of your choice (like your neighborhood worker-cooperative perhaps)
Gordon ("Zola") Edgar 